Where's the Beach?

As I was leaving the Port Authority heading downtown this morning I was struck with momentary confusion..."where's the beach?" I wondered. Surely there must be some type of sandy area for vacationing people to relax on a wonderful striped blanket and soak up the morning sun! But wait, these people don't have chairs with them... they don't smell like coconut suntan lotion (you know the one, we've all used it). In fact, they are not carrying straw beach totes or Land's End canvas bags at all. They are carrying designer handbags and briefcases!!! Oh my gosh, they are going to work!!!

Where do they work?!?!? Where is it okay to wear a backless, linen halter dress to the floor with flip-flops (unless of course you are selling backless, linen halter dresses) ?!?!?

Where can women wear white cotton crinkle skirts where you can see the rainbow pattern printed on their bum and that's okay?!?!

How are jeans that look like you played beach volleyball in them and shredded them on the rocks and coral okay for the office?

I am certainly not saying that in 80+ degree weather people are expected to come to work in a navy Brooks Brother's suit, but coverage of the main part of the upper torso (back and front) would be nice. I'm also tired of hearing the "Three Little Piggy" theme every time I look down when I am on the elevator.

Please people, for the sake of all things good and holy, there is no beach on the 15th floor! Cover Up!