What are they doing?

I love riding a commuter bus. I get on, put on my iPod and immediately fall asleep...usually. There are some days like today, however, when I stare out the window for the entire trip. It's amazing what some people will do in their cars when they think no one is paying attention, and this morning was no exception!

The first lady I noticed was putting mascara on as she was driving down Route 80...Route 80 of all places!!! We were not in stand still traffic, we were going the speed limit, the legal speed limit that is. You know what they say about Route 80 -- go 80 on 80 or go home [okay, so that's what I say, but it's true]!

The next gentleman was feverishly typing/texting as he was checking information in his paperwork on the passenger's seat.

Another young man was singing (and dancing) at the top of his lungs at 6:30am (I guess it's a good way to stay awake that early).

Amazing...
and by the way, who are all of these people talking to at 6:30 in the morning?! If you just left home, shouldn't you have said everything you needed to say to your significant other/ kids/ parents ... why are you waiting until you are in the car? afraid of face-to-face confrontation?

Are you late to work at 6:30am? Is there a conference call with employees in Russia that you can't miss? Or are you just putting in your order for your egg white omelet and latte at the location deli on the corner near you job?

I bet you are already familiar with some of these people...they are your boss, your cube mate, your brown-nosing coworker down the hall. You get into work only to find that you have 3 voicemails/ emails from them waiting for you! REALLY?!?! It couldn't wait until 9am?? They are probably emails their boss as well so they can look dedicated and on task so early in the morning (do people still fall for that)?

Not me. my iPod is filled with songs I haven't listen to in months and if not that, I can always try to catch a few ZZZs.

Where's the Beach?

As I was leaving the Port Authority heading downtown this morning I was struck with momentary confusion..."where's the beach?" I wondered. Surely there must be some type of sandy area for vacationing people to relax on a wonderful striped blanket and soak up the morning sun! But wait, these people don't have chairs with them... they don't smell like coconut suntan lotion (you know the one, we've all used it). In fact, they are not carrying straw beach totes or Land's End canvas bags at all. They are carrying designer handbags and briefcases!!! Oh my gosh, they are going to work!!!

Where do they work?!?!? Where is it okay to wear a backless, linen halter dress to the floor with flip-flops (unless of course you are selling backless, linen halter dresses) ?!?!?

Where can women wear white cotton crinkle skirts where you can see the rainbow pattern printed on their bum and that's okay?!?!

How are jeans that look like you played beach volleyball in them and shredded them on the rocks and coral okay for the office?

I am certainly not saying that in 80+ degree weather people are expected to come to work in a navy Brooks Brother's suit, but coverage of the main part of the upper torso (back and front) would be nice. I'm also tired of hearing the "Three Little Piggy" theme every time I look down when I am on the elevator.

Please people, for the sake of all things good and holy, there is no beach on the 15th floor! Cover Up!

Wednesdays in the Big Apple!

I dread coming to the city on Wednesdays. If I could, I would call in sick every Wednesday, although I think that would be a pretty obvious pattern. You know why of course?! it's matinee day! All of the people in live in New Jersey (closer to the city than I do) and the other foreign countries, like Long Island and Connecticut, come into the city for their "outings". These people live 50 miles or less from the greatest city in the world and they are coming in for the 1st time in YEARS!!!! Really?!? How does that happen!??! What are they DOING in NJ, CT or Long Island?? Dreaming of being on that 'Real Housewives..' show?!?

And for goodness sakes, could someone tell them how to dress and behave when they come to the city?!? Oh yeah, I guess that's what I'm doing, so here goes, in no real order of importance:

• First classic rule of being in the city...Stand on the Right, Walk on the Left.
• Please don't wear clothes that you bought in the mall in an effort to "look like a New Yorker". The beauty of the way New Yorkers dress is that it can not be labeled, bought or sold.
• If you are on an escalator, do not stand backwards to the direction the escalator is travelling, do not put packages down on the steps next to you and for goodness sakes, don't attempt to make obnoxious comments about "those New Yorkers are always in a rush". Yes we are, we have somewhere to go and no time to listen to you reminisce about the last time you were in the city, 20 years ago (I'm not kidding, I heard a lady talking to a friend last week).
• Which brings me to the next point, before you get on the bus, PRACTICE WHISPERING. No one wants to hear all of your business, your 3 year old grandchild's accomplishments, or the fact that you might have to dig up the septic tank!
• Socks and Birkenstocks are NOT okay.
• Restaurants are for eating, not commuter buses. I don't want to smell your hero on an hour plus bus ride stuck in traffic when I had to skip lunch for an endless meeting.
• Please do not walk arm-in-arm down the street with your twelve best girlfriends (mother, neighbor, grandmother, and classmate from 20 years ago). Although I am quite adept at walking in the middle of the street to get where I need to go, I shouldn't have to!
• And lastly (for today anyway) save the cell phone for emergencies (like the sign on the bus says)! I do not need to hear you debate with your significant other about the pros and cons of Chinese over Italian.

Okay, now that that is off my chest, I can face my commute home... wish me luck!

Just another rainy day...

It raining, I have to be at work, and the bus was late... what a wonderful day! So why is it that people look up at the sky in utter confusion as if they do not know where the rain is coming from?
Why do women wear pants to work and complain all day that their legs are wet (here's a hint, wear a skirt)!
Why do people drive SO slowly in the rain...really, practice in a parking lot if you are not comfortable driving in the rain, but please do not slow down my commute.

I guess we are all creatures of habit. It just that some of the habits are enough to put a true New Yorker over the edge [which is what this blog is about].

So if you are a frustrated New Yorker ( a real New Yorker, not someone who moved here last year), I am sure you will find camaraderie with my posts!
Rant out loud, Rave at the beauty all around, release fear and frustrations!